Valentine’s Day is here, and on this romantic holiday, we find the common topic of conversation is about relationships. Whether you are single and trying to find your valentine, or you’ve already found them, it all starts somewhere. Here at Culver-Stockton College, many have found their partner for life. Some like Taylor Ramos, previously Taylor Blasius, a Culver 2019 winter graduate with a degree in English and creative writing; Tim Fischer, a 1989 Culver graduate with a degree in business; Jane Fischer, the admissions counselor for Culver from 1988-91; and Madison Landry, a 2019 graduate with a bachelors of fine arts in theater, were kind enough to give us a little insight as to what makes their relationships so special, and even some tips to help all of us with our relationships. 

Love is defined differently by everyone but as many have found, to have a genuine and working connection with someone, love is 100 percent required. There a different types of love for the different relationships you have in your life. For example, you wouldn’t love your mom the same way you love your partner or friend, but the love is still there. To the Fischers it means “you care for the other person more than you do yourself” and being able to have a person there for you and knowing you have a person who is willing to care for you as much as you care for them. To Taylor, it means to “love unconditionally accepting someone for who they are, but continually growing as people.” This kind of love is different, being genuinely yourself and having someone love you, for you, is a whole different experience. But with being in the middle of a pandemic, couples had to adjust to the increase in the amount of time they spend with their partner. With Madison’s relationship, she found that love means, “being able to spend an entire three month lockdown working and living together and still coming out of it completely infatuated with each other.” 

The inevitable first date is one of the more important aspects of a relationship. Everyone has a story, whether it is good or bad. For Tim and Jane, their first date is a little contested between the two of them, but they tell people they went to see Young Guns II at the Quincy State Street theater, talked for hours while eating dinner, and ended the night celebrating Tim’s birthday at midnight. Taylor’s first date didn’t start off being a date, she had invited her friend at the time over to her house for Thanksgiving, and on their way back stopped at a small Mexican restaurant. On Valentine’s day in 2018, Madison got to have her first date with her now fiance at one of their favorite restaurants, Buffalo Wild Wings. 

Relationships aren’t going to be something that is going to be easy going, all of them require effort on both sides. But some wise words from others will make those relationships easier. We all heard the “don’t go to bed angry” line, but Taylor believes your partner isn’t supposed to just fix everything. Being able to talk things out and come to an agreement on how things should be settled. is the basis of any genuine relationship. Also being able to tell whether the love your partner is giving is actual love is extremely important, Madison found that obsession does not equal love, and the second you have to use a pros and cons list, the relationship needs to be over. If you have to make excuses for bad behavior and feel you aren’t getting listened to is a bad sign. Also, another important thing to point out as Jane says, “Your identity is not in who you date… it’s in who you are. Always stay true to your own values.” 

The rest of these couple’s stories can be viewed in the Culver-Stockton College Love on “the Hill” 2022 video below.